Christmas Eve

I am sitting here in my office tonight, feeling the burden to start writing again for our church. I don't feel the burden for any reason other than to make sure that my heart, conviction and desire for the church is always clear to those who attend.
We are in the middle of a transitional period at the moment with our attendance, that was stagnate, beginning to fall steadily toward unsustainable attendance. I have to be honest, I am not sure why we have come to this point. It is easy to blame vision, energy, leadership and outside circumstance even though I am not sure that any of those things are the reason. We could blame the typical nature of organizational life/death as the reason in that perhaps we have just run our course and the time/season of our turmoil is just simply part of the process.
I have heard it mentioned that perhaps we are not anointed as a church, which, by its very mention would imply that I am not anointed. As much as I would like to rant against that possibility and run over scripture which refutes the very notion, perhaps there is something to that belief. If there are people who think we are not meant to thrive as a church because of a lack of God's anointing, then by that very insinuation, we are bound to fail under the weight of that speculation in the heart's of those in the church.
The fact remains, I believe in this church as emissaries of God. I believe that God desires for this church to somehow find its way through the forest in which it currently walks somewhat aimless and lost. I am not sure I am the leader to bring it through this wilderness, but I feel that God is not done with me here, or with us as an entity.  I am only writing this because I am often accused of being closed to emotion in expression of my heart. I hope this leaping off point, is a beginning to having those who call this their church home, for exposing all of you to the burden of my heart.